


Guitar Chords

by Ghost_Writing



Series: Stardew Valley One Shots and Drabbles [3]
Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Angst and Romance, Angst with a Happy Ending, Astraphobia, Astraphobic Shane (Stardew Valley), Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Comfort, Comfort/Angst, Crushing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gender Dysphoria, Gender Identity, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Guitarist Farmer (Stardew Valley), Guitars, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Longing, M/M, Music, Musical References, Mutual Pining, Non-Canon Relationship, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Farmer, Pining, Pizza, Psychological Trauma, Slow Romance, Stardrop Saloon, Thunderstorms, Trauma, Triggers, lots of physical affection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:28:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23829874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ghost_Writing/pseuds/Ghost_Writing
Summary: It's been years since you've been back at your grandfather's farm. The place you spent every summer at. And now, you're finally back to stay.In each memory you held to yourself, the same face appeared again, and again. The face of a black-haired boy who was always smiling. Always by your side. Even as he became a gridball player for his local high school, he stayed your friend every summer. He came back, every summer.Shane.A story about a nonbinary farmer who struggles with gender dysphoria and feelings for a childhood friend.
Relationships: Sam/Sebastian (Stardew Valley), Shane (Stardew Valley)/Reader, Shane/Nonbinary Player (Stardew Valley), Shane/Player (Stardew Valley)
Series: Stardew Valley One Shots and Drabbles [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1708618
Kudos: 31





	1. Returning

You sigh, staring back at your reflection in the full-length mirror that sits in the corner of your apartment. Looking back at you is someone so far from yourself that you almost don’t recognize her.

She’s short, almost petite, with shoulder-length brown hair. Her bust is uncomfortably large, not by choice, but by a cruel genetic fate. Her hips are wide, making an hourglass figure, the only feature of her body you feel comfortable with.

You let out another sigh, grabbing the binder sitting on my dresser. It’s not a solution to this, it can barely even do its job. You pull it on, tight around your ribs, compressing your chest as you stare at the wall ahead of you, trying to forget.

There’s a pair of high waisted jeans on your bed, and a plain black t-shirt to go with it. You’re wearing clothes before you can even blink.

You walk through your tiny, one-bedroom apartment, grabbing your lunch from the fridge and slipping on your platform boots and a leather jacket.

Then you’re out the door.

You catch the bus to your work, the Joja corporation, where you make your way to my office cubicle. You settle into my desk, putting my lunch away and taking off my jacket.

It’s back to the daily grind. Filling out forms with company information while you feel my brain numb inside your skull.

When it’s finally lunchtime you want to bang your head onto the desk. Out of an error, you open the wrong drawer in my desk for my lunch. Instead of the paper bag, you see a neatly sealed letter sitting all alone in the drawer.

Your grandfather’s letter.

You remember his instructions clearly; only open the letter when you’re done with corporate life.

Yet you haven’t opened it since you received it. It’s sat in your drawer collecting dust for years.

You find your hand reaching for the letter. You pick it up and turn it over in your hand, examining the red wax seal on it and the old, faded envelope. Out of curiosity, you find yourself breaking the seal, the letter opening up.

You unfold the letter inside, reading it over as your jaw drops.

No one has been able to find grandpas deed, because it’s been with you. He knew you wouldn’t be stupid enough to sell it, so he gave it to me.

But why…?

Finishing the letter, you learn part of the reason he intended you to have that deed.

The other part you’d have to learn on your own.

* * *

It took three days to find the courage to pack up your tiny apartment. 

It took all of three hours to pack away all your belongings. 

It took all of three minutes to leave the key in your landlord’s hands and walk to the bus stop. 

It took thirty minutes for the bus to arrive. 

It took being thirty seconds away from the small town where you held so many childhood memories to start crying. 

It took three seconds to step off the bus. 

It took three minutes to stop crying. 

It took three minutes to arrive at your new house, suitcase in hand.

A greyed man was standing at the front of the house with a red-haired woman. They turned and smiled at you and your heart swells in your chest. Before you knew it, the suitcase dropped from your hand and you were racing towards the two of them.

They gathered me up in their arms, hugging you tightly.  
“Bailey… you’re home,” they whispered.

You can feel a sob catch in your throat. Ever since you were little, your parents would take you out here to spend the summer with your grandfather. You knew everyone, everyone here knew you. 

You grew up here. 

Your home was here. 

Your heart was here.

“I’m home,” you whisper back, wiping your nose when Lewis hands you a tissue.

You break apart to stand in front of the house.

“It’s going to need a lot of repairs. If you need help, I’m always free and I’m sure Sebastian wouldn’t mind helping as well,” Robin tells you, resting her hand on the small of your back.

“He’s still here?!” You ask in shock, a little part of your fluttering as a smile spreads on your lips.

“Yep, hasn’t ever left. Come by my house later and I’m sure you’ll be able to say hi,” she replies, a knowing smile on her lips.

“What about Sam?” 

She nods. “He’s still here as well. Vincents got bigger as well. However, Kent’s off on the front lines. Do pay him a visit, he’d appreciate it,” Robin says, a sad tone in her voice.

“I see… I’ll make sure to pop over!” you say, a smile spreading on your face. Since the moment you got there the smile had only gotten brighter. Like your life suddenly came back to your body the moment your boots touched the earth underneath you. 

“That’s good. If you need any farm equipment built, like coops or soils, then just come over and see me. Preferably after nine am,” Robin tells you, patting me on the back.

“And if you want to sell anything you’ve produced, put it in this box, I’ll come to pick it up every night,” Lewis says, gesturing to the wooden crate next to your house.

“Thank you. Both of you,” You say, giving them the biggest smile you can muster.

“Of course kiddo. You’re practically family. Now we’ll let you get some rest. It must’ve been a long drive out,” Robin says, turning to walk away with Lewis.

“And please say hello to everyone. They’d be over the moon to see you again… some more than others,” Lewis adds. You barely catch the last part, like it was meant to be thought to himself instead of being spoken out loud.

“I will,” you find yourself promising as those last words ring through your mind.

As you watch them go, you grab your suitcase. There’s a small thought that hangs in the back of your mind. You knew it was a stupid thought, a stupid question to ask and the answer would most definitely be no. But you still find yourself wanting to ask.

Is Shane here too?

As you put away your clothes in the dresser of the tiny cottage, you found yourself reminiscing back to your childhood.

Summer days spent running through the woods. Summer days spent petting chickens and tickling cows. Summer days spent singing in the sunlight. Summer nights spent stargazing in the middle of an open field. Summer nights spent playing pool in the Stardrop Saloon. 

In each memory you held to yourself, the same face appeared again, and again. The face of a black-haired boy who was always smiling. Always by your side. Even as he became a gridball player for his local high school, he stayed your friend every summer. He came back, every summer.

Shane.

You hadn’t seen him since you were seventeen when your grandfather passed away and you stopped coming to the farm. He was always here when you were, always for the summers.

You had clung to his memory all those years spent working for Joja. Always wondering if he was working somewhere nearby. If you’d run into him one day.

Yes, you had memories with Sam and Sebastian, even Penny and Abagail, but you always seemed to remember Shane the most.

No, that was wrong.

You clung to memories with Sam and Sebastian as well, but the reason you clung to those specific memories, was because all four of you were together. 

All four of you explored the woods. 

All four of you spent nights watching the stars and playing pool. 

All four of you spent your summers together.

And when you were together, you were the happiest.

You sat down on your bed when you finished putting away your belongings. It was late, around seven or eight at night. Your grandfather never had a kitchen in his cottage, you’d always buy dinner from the Stardrop saloon. 

You loved that greasy, homemade food that Gus made. Right now, you were craving it. So you grabbed your bomber jacket and tugged it on, grabbing your wallet and keys as well. You turned the light off to your cottage and locked the door before heading down the path to town. Hungry and home.

You see the town comes into view and it’s just as gorgeous as when you left. The clinic and Pierre’s are still at the front of the trail, standing tall with their rustic and home exteriors. The lights are off on both buildings, that’s usual. You make your way past the tiny park at the end of the trail and down to the brick building that stands a little way further into town. The Stardrop Saloon. 

Your stomach growls at the thought of Gus’s cooking as scents waft to your nose as you grow closer. Your hand goes to your wallet, fingers brushing against the other shell.

Your boots stop at the front door as you take a deep breath, preparing yourself for whatever you’d find inside.

Unfortunatley, nothing could’ve prepared you.

You swing the door open, the little bell ringing happily as heads turn to see who just entered. To them, everyone was already there, so who just walked inside?

Sam was the first to call out to you.  
“BAILEY!!” he exclaimed, running towards you and picking you up in a big hug, spinning you around and around in his arms. 

“SAM!!” You laugh into his jacket, hugging him back. When he finally sets you down, Sebastian has made his way over to the door as well.

“Hey Bail’s, you’re… you’re back,” he whispers in disbelief like this was some kind of sick joke.

You move forwards and wrap your arms around him. He immediately melts into you, hugging you back.

“You’re back… you’re really back…” he whispers over and over into your jacket. 

“I’m back. I’m back for good, I’m not going anywhere Sebby,” You assure him, rubbing his back.

He lets you go and your eyes are resting on his lips. There’s a small part of you that wishes you could kiss him… that you could kiss Sam… that you could kiss both of them. That you could have everything you wanted.

You could try and explain this feeling, try and explain that you learned a small detail about yourself in the city. One that just felt so right.

But you stop yourself. You just got back, you can’t just explain to them you’re polyamorous. You can’t lose them before you can have them back.

“I… we didn’t know you were coming back,” Sams says next to you, breaking you from your thoughts.

“I’m sorry. We tried to find grandpa’s deed, but no matter where we looked, we never found it... And then I got caught up in work and I couldn’t get away, but I’m here now. I’m here and I’m here to stay,” you apologize to them.

“But wasn’t the city everything? Wasn’t it amazing?” Sebastian asked, pressing a sore spot inside you.

“No… the city was horrible and suffocating. I couldn’t leave, I tried my hardest to fly but I was always stifled,” you explain to him and he pulls you back into a hug.

It’s a melting hug, and you close your eyes for a brief moment. When you open your eyes again, he’s letting you go. 

“I’m kinda hungry, I’ll come to talk to you guys later, okay?” you say to them, rubbing your stomach a little. It’s a half-lie. One part true, one part wanting to be alone for a little while, one part not trusting yourself.

They nod, and Sam pulls Sebatstain away with a little goodbye. You say goodbye as well as they return to their game of pool.

You walk to the counter where Gus is standing, watching the little convo go down between you three.

“Bailey… I haven’t seen you since you were a wee girl,” he says to you, giving you a warm smile.

You flinch a little.  
“Actually Gus I’m a…” How do you explain it to him? This feeling you have. Will he understand?

But you don’t have too. He responds before you could even say anything else.

“You’re a boy?” he asks.

“Not quiet? I’m both if that makes sense,” you reply.

“If it makes you happy, it makes enough sense to me. Well, what can I get for ya’ tonight?”

You smile, a few tears poking at your eyes.  
“A pizza and a soda, please. Also, if you don’t mind, can you use they them pronouns?” You ask nervously.

“Of course, coming right up. Just have a seat wherever you’d like,” he tells you and you pay him for the food.

As you look around the saloon, there are a few new faces that pop out to you. A long-haired red-head man is talking red-haired woman at a table, drinking some wine, and there’s a blue-haired woman who’s serving people. There are also a few old faces like Pam and Abagail in the saloon. As your eyes scan they go past Sam and Sebastian playing pool and as you turn back to the bar to find yourself a seat your heart stops.

Standing next to the fireplace, staring at you with big, sad eyes, is Shane. He’s dressed in a torn Joja corp sweater and green shorts, holding a beer in one hand. He’s a little unshaven, with stubble growing around his jaw. But all you can see is the most perfect person in the world staring back at you.


	2. Pizza Night

Your feet move so fast you feel like you’re flying, flying towards him. You move through the chairs and around the bar until you’re standing in front of him. He’s set his beer down on the counter and is just staring back at you.

Neither of you knows what to do, staring at each other in awe and disbelief.

Gus sits your pizza next to you and you barely notice.

Then Shane’s grabbing your wrist and pulling you out of the saloon. You stumble out after him, grabbing the pizza off the counter as you go. He pulls you down the road to Marnie’s Ranch. You watch as he takes you past the ranch and to the dock overlooking the pond.

You set the pizza down on the dock, still standing. The whole time searching for words to say.

Then he beats you to it. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, his words slightly slurred, cutting through the dead of the night.

“You’re… what?” you ask, taking a step to him. 

He looks away from you, letting go of your wrist.

“I said I’m sorry. I’m not the man you used to know… I’m so far from being the man you used to know…” he says to the water below him, trying to not look you in the eyes.

You let out a small sigh and wrap your arms around him. He freezes from the touch, standing still.

“I’m not the woman you thought you knew either… I’m…”  _ I’m hopelessly in love with you... _ “I’m nonbinary. So what’s yours?” you admit to him, not letting go of him.

“I… I’m glad you’re happy. You never were when we called you a girl,” he whispers, avoiding your question.

“I’m not, but I’m getting there. Please, Shane, tell me, what’s wrong?” 

Shane pulls back from the hug, looking you in the eyes with a firey sadness. 

“How do I even start to explain? How do I explain that I became a godfather and a father within the time I last saw you? How do I explain that I lost one of my best friends and came out here? How do I explain that I started drinking because everytime I looked at the damn kid it reminded me of him? How do I explain that every day I want to kill myself because I’ve been alone for so long that I can’t begin to explain myself?!” He shouts at you, pushing the palms of his hands on the sides of his head as he bows his head and lets it all come pouring out his mouth.

You’re hugging him after the last sentence, arms wrapped tightly around his torso. His definite beer belly pressing against you as his strong arms stay folded up to his head. He chokes back a sob the moment you hug him again, curling around you.

You sink the two of you down to your knees, rubbing circles on his back.

“Ssshh, just let it out… it’s okay… you’re not alone… I’m here again,” you whisper to him as he sobs into your jacket.

When he finally calms down, he’s still clinging to you like a child.

“It’s still Bailey, is it?” he asks through hiccuping breathes.

“It’s still Bailey,” you confirm.

Then you feel a few drops of rain on your skin. It gets more and more and more, growing around you.

You try and think up an excuse to get out of the rain.

“Have you eaten something tonight?”

He sighs before whispering a defeated ‘no’.

“Would you like to come back to my place and eat the pizza I bought with me?” You offer, running your hands through his hair.

You’re so close to him, he’s so warm, leaning against you, shaking slightly. You don’t want to send him home to Marnie like this. Especially not if there’s a little kid there.

He mumbles a ‘yes’ into your jacket and you help him stand. You get him to carry the pizza as you two walk up the back way to the farm. He’s leaning on your shoulder and you can see the rips on his jacket. 

Once you get to your front door, you put the key back in the lock and let the two of you into your cottage. He sets the pizza down on the table, standing there and just staring at it.

“Shane…?” You whisper to him walking up next to him as the rain hits your roof harshly.

He mumbles an incoherent response, still staring at the pizza.

“Why don’t we sit on my bed to eat? I didn’t bring any chairs… I didn’t think I’d need chairs,” you admit, giving a soft chuckle.

He looks over at you, a sad look on his face before a smile cracks through.

“I wouldn’t either, don’t worry about it. I’m sure Robin can make ya’ some.”

You nod in confirmation.

“I’m sure she can. Come on, it’ll be like old times,” you say, picking up the pizza and grabbing his wrist.

He follows you over to the large queen-sized bed. At least your grandpa had a large bed. You sit on your pillow while Shane sits on the end of the bed with his back against the wall. The pizza box between the two of you.

You each pick up a slice and take a bit. Fortunately, it was still a bit warm. But not by much.

“So, what’s the kid’s name? If you don’t mind me asking,” you question, trying to make light conversation. 

“Jas. She’s Mark and Julie’s daughter… or at least she was,” he replies, almost finishing his slice of pizza.

“Aw, I bet she’s a cute kid. I always said they’d make adorable babies,” you comment, watching as he reaches for another piece.

“Yeah, she’s the cutest. Kinda like Julie was when she was her age,” he tells you and the two of you fall into light conversation.

You try your best to pay attention to the conversation, but find yourself paying more attention to other things. Like how his hair was slightly longer than the last time you saw him, his green-blue eyes sparkled in the soft light of the cottage, under the fairy lights you’d strung up that day, or how he still wore his old gridball jersey from his teenage years. 

But your eyes kept going back to his lips. The two of you had stopped eating a while ago, the box now empty, with both of you eating your fair share, the box sat empty on the ground where it had been tossed.

Somehow, he’d moved closer to you, sitting so you two were inches apart.

“... and then I took Jas hERE-!!” the end of his sentence was cut off by a large boom from outside and within a moment of the sound crashing through, you watched Shane jump a little and curl up in a ball, hands over his ears and his eyes screwed shut.

“Shane..? Are you okay?” you whisper, rubbing his back as he breathed faster, rocking back and forth.

Shane just curls up tighter. You grab a blanket from nearby and wrap it over his back before pulling him into your lap. It takes a great deal of effort to move him, you are much smaller than he is. The both of you were never too terribly tall. 

The moment he’s resting against you though, you finally smell it. The alcohol on his breath and in his system. There’s a small pain in your heart as you realize he’s not entirely sober.

You wrap him in the blanket as he rests against your chest. You regret it a little, as you weren’t wearing your binder since you’d only intended to get food. You had the commonsense to not hurt yourself, as much as you’d like too. However, people had told you in the past, they made great pillows. So you guessed there was always a rainbow to everything.

“I’m sorry, it just sounds like gunshots…” It’s barely a whisper and you almost miss it as you’re lost in your thoughts.

You look down at Shane. He was never scared of gunshots before.

“Don’t worry, it’s just thunder. I’m right here, focus on my voice instead,” you suggest as you start to sing a song you heard on the radio. 

You continue to sing as you watch him take his hands off his ears. Another roar runs through the night outside and you watch him shiver a bit and cling to your shirt, but he keeps his hands off his ears.

When you finish the song, he’s breathing steadily again. 

“Thanks…” he mumbles, head resting on your chest.

“Of course,” you whisper softly. 

An awkward silence comes over you two as you suddenly realize just how close you two were together. You wait for him to get off, or move, but instead, he wraps his arms around you.

“You know… I think for the first time I’ve been here, I’m truly happy,” he whispers softly into your t-shirt.

“Me too…” you mumble, running your hand through his hand.

“Hey, Bailey?” he whispers, thumb brushing against your shirt.

“Hm?” you reply, looking down at the man clinging to your torso.

“Do you still play the guitar?” he asks, fingers drumming against your back.

“I do. Why do you ask?” you hum in response as you rest your arm on the small of his back.

“Do you mind playing me something? Your music was always relaxing… I miss it…” 

A sad smile creeps onto your face. Ever since you learnt the instrument, whenever he’d be down, he’d ask for you to play him something. You’d spend evenings playing for him. It’s not that you cared, you loved making him smile, but he’d usually only ask when he was sad.

“You have to get off of me,” you whisper, taking all the strength in your body to not kiss the top of his head.

“Oh! Sorry!” he squeaks, getting off you, and sitting with his knees folded to his chest. 

“It’s okay, I started it. Don’t apologize,” you tell him as you get up off the bed.

You walk over to the guitars sitting in the corner of the room, grabbing your favourite acoustic. 

You haven’t played for Shane in years. The last time, he came to the cottage in the middle of the night with tears in your eyes and begged you to come to sit under the stars with him and play something.

You did, and he was enraptured in the music, watching you with wonder in his eyes. When you’d finished, he leant forwards and cupped your face with his hand, telling you how much he loved to hear you sing. You swore you saw him start to lean in for a kiss when Sebastian sat down next to you.

You grab the guitar, putting the strap around your shoulder and sitting back down on the bed next to him. You fish for the pick in your pocket, your favourite one that wraps around your thumb. 

He’s sitting in the same spot as you sit down, cross-legged, in the middle of the bed. His eyes are watching you with a look you can’t describe but find yourself wanting him to look at you like that forever.

“I learnt a few songs while in the city. This one’s called  _ Ophelia,  _ it’s by the  _ Lumineers _ . They’re a good band,” you explain, ghosting your fingers over the strings. 

He hums in response, leaning forward slightly. 

“I-I when I was younger… I-I should’ a known better…” you start to sing, the words filling the quiet cottage as you close your eyes. 

All you can picture is Shane. His lips, his warmth, his kiss. What would’ve happened that summer night if Sebastian hadn’t come by… 

You’re so lost in thought you almost miss the chorus, catching yourself before you do. 

When you finish the song, he’s sitting closer to you, legs down a little. You decide to play something faster.

“Well, I came home… Like a stone… And I fell heavy into your arms…” the lyrics flow as if you wrote them. You learnt this song for Shane. He requested.

“ _ I will wait _ … I didn’t think you’d remember,” you hear him whisper next to you as he watches you play.

A small flutter in your heart forms as you reach the chorus. You find yourself staring at his lips, watching as he watches you. Yoba, how much you wish you could kiss him right now… 

“That’s all I have in me for now. It’s been a long day,” you tell him, setting the guitar down next to your bed.

“Yeah… thank Yoba it’s Sunday tomorrow and I don’t have to work,” he muses, slightly lost in thought.

“You work?!” You exclaim with a chuckle. Shane never worked, even when he was a teenager, he’d refuse to work. Something about sticking it to the man and being a famous gridball star…

“Yeah I… I work at Joja mart,” he confesses, looking at his feet.

“Well ain’t that ironic,” you state. “You know, if you ever feel like it, I could always use an extra hand here. I feel like I’ve got my work cut out for me.”

“I’ll… I’ll think about it,” he mumbles, glancing at the clock.

“It’s getting late, I should probably head home.”

“Yeah… it’s still pouring outside… do you wanna stay here for the night?” You offer, not wanting to put him out in the rain.

“Nah, I wouldn’t wanna put you out…” he mumbles, slurring his words a little, standing up and immediately thunder rips through the house.

He’s curled up in a ball on the floor in an instant, covering his ears and shutting his eyes.

You let out a sigh. He is not going home like this. He’ll only worry Marnie.

“Shane, you’re drunk and it’s pouring outside. You’re staying here tonight. It wouldn’t feel right for you to go home like this,” you state, a this-is-non-negotiable tone in your voice.

He doesn’t verbally respond, instead, he makes a whimper as another thunderclap rips through the night.

You stand up and drop a blanket on him before going over to your drawers to find him something to sleep in. You manage to find something mildly adequate that’ll probably cover him and bring it back over.

He’s still curled up on the floor.

You crouch down to his level and pull him into another hug.

“Shh… it’s okay… it’s just thunder,” you tell him, trying to calm him down.

He whimpers in your arms, still holding his hands over his ears.

When the thunder finally passes again, you get him to stand and offer the bathroom for him to change in.

Once he’s closed the door, you go about getting yourself in pyjamas. A simple button-up plaid nightshirt and a pair of boyshorts cut underwear with green and grey print.

He comes out of the bathroom not too long after you finish changing, standing in the shirt you gave him and boxers with chickens printed all over them.

“Don’t laugh,” he grumbles as he sits on the bed and covers himself with the blanket.

“I’m not!” You protest, stifling a laugh.

He grumbles a bit.

“You got a couch I can sleep on?”

“No… we can share the bed if you don’t mind,” you say, immediately turning red-faced at your own suggestion.

He turns red too before mumbling a, “I mean it wouldn’t be so bad… I guess…”

So you sit on the bed with him, neither of you knowing where to lay down. Awkwardly staring at the floor.

Until an unexpected clap of thunder rolls through the night.

Shane jumps a little and immediately clings to you, holding his head with his hands.

You rub his back and calm him down as you wonder why he’s so scared of it being gunshots.

When he finally calms down, you decide to ask him. Maybe he’ll tell you…

“Shane… why are you so scared of gunshots?” You ask as he sits up next to you.

He looks down at the floor.

“You’ll laugh.”

“I promise I won’t.”

“Okay… but only because you’re my friend. Don’t go telling anyone else hear this, okay?”

“I swear. Just between us.”

“I was over at Mark and Julie’s house. I was upstairs playing with Jas, she wasn’t more than five when I heard gunshots from downstairs. I grabbed the bat that Mark kept in the hallway and ran downstairs, telling Jas to stay upstairs. By the time I got downstairs, Mark and Julie were dead and the culprit was long gone… they caught him later, after checking the cameras Julie had for watching the birds at night. But I ever since then, I can’t stand gunshots… it’s really dumb. I get if you laugh. I wasn’t even the one targeted,” he confesses, refusing to look me in the eyes.

The words catch in my throat as I look back at him. 

“Shane… I… I’m-“

“Don’t. Don’t apologize. You won’t help.”

“I won’t then. That was awful, but it must’ve been worse to witness. I understand why you’re scared of them,” you tell him, resting your hand on his jaw and tilting his gaze to meet yours.

The words seem to catch in his throat this time as tears begin to stream down his face. He flops forwards, letting you catch him in your arms and you wait as he weeps. You simply tip back and pull the sheets over him, rubbing his back with your hand as the two of you fall asleep. Completely exhausted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All credits to the artists of the two songs.


End file.
